Indecisions...........

Today I went to get some of my queries answered about the University offer. I had to wait for quite some time for the concerned person to show up and the weather was quite pleasant. I stood by the open balcony feeling the cool breeze sweep through my hair (after the long summer spell it had finally rained, and yet it is only pre-monsoon showers). I stood for some time watching the scenes around me. And well an idle mind does tend to wander off and so I imagined………………

................I imagined walking into a large open space flanked by large connected buildings on 3 sides. The open space was tiled with cream stones and looked fresh and clean after the brief rain. I stood at the gate and I was wearing a spotless white ensemble. There were many people walking by entering the gate mostly in groups of 2 or more. I stood watching people walk past and enter the huge buildings to my left and right. It seemed like two monstrous giants engulfing everyone willingly. People brushed past me some brusquely. A few people stopped a second just to turn back and say a curt sorry and moved on. I was at peace but lonely and the enormous building in front of me awed me. It seemed to invite me. Nobody entered the building, people went to the left and right enormous buildings, the one in centre seemed lonely and forlorn.

I walked right into the middle of the open ground. The gentle sunlight felt good, the air felt fresh. I stood rooted at the spot for some time and then I sensed people looking at me curiously, I felt a need to escape and the structure in front was inviting. I walked into the building and climbed up a flight of stairs, then another, then another and so on I went on climbing till I reached the roof top. The sun shone brighter here and the light breeze was stronger. Tiles, sprinkled with water droplets lay on the roof top sparkling in the sun. I walked across to the ledge at the end and I looked down. Far below the ground seemed inviting so I climbed up the ledge and stood there. The sun soon hid behind the dark monsoon clouds and the breeze became a strong wind blowing, changing directions every few minutes. The strong wind swayed me to and fro as I tried to hold my balance on the ledge. As I looked down below the ground far off seemed inviting and yet scary. If I fell, I knew I would not be floating down gently but crashing head along. Behind me the roof floor seemed secure and inviting too but I didn’t feel like stepping off the ledge. I stood there precariously, holding my balance, trying to decide and yet I couldn’t. The strong wind swayed me to and fro trying to throw me off and yet it felt peaceful and refreshing. The indecision seemed to be too stressful so I finally let go, closed my eyes and let the wind and gravity decide.

And that’s about it……….I stood on the ledge swaying, neither falling nor backing off and I can still picture myself standing right there!

"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night" - Edgar Allan Poe

Btw: My queries still remain unanswered and no decisions have been taken yet.